Why Keeping Separate Accounts Can Be Good For Your Marriage

Do all the ol’ clichés still hold true in the present day? What’s yours is mine? ‘Til death do us part?

Thankfully, for some, the answer is yes. But, even in the best of times, there are many reasons why separate bank accounts are good for your marriage.

It’s not all about cloaks and daggers and shady behavior. It’s more about taking a realistic, balanced approach that offers the possibility for a happy ending and, ironically, an even stronger bond.

Don’t take our word for it, though. Read on to see what you think.

You Came With Savings

Is it fair to combine funds when the scales are unbalanced? It’s rare to find people with equally balanced views on finances. Worse than that, financial trouble is often one of the leading causes of divorce.

What if you entered the partnership with a well-balanced view on savings, but your partner came to the marriage with a woefully lackadaisical approach?

It’s going to cause a lot of grief if you’re trying to save $500/month while they’re impulse shopping on Amazon.

In this scenario, you may agree that separate accounts are good for your marriage because each conflicting viewpoint will truly baffle the other and potentially cause a lot of strife.

You Came With Debts

Conversely, what if you came with a lot of debt from a lifetime of bad choices or a former marriage. Is it really fair to impose that on a partner who may be in better financial standing?

Sure, you might’ve paired up with someone spectacular who’s happy to split everything down the middle.

But, even so, that’s a frank and honest conversation that needs to be had. You don’t want someone to agree to a 50/50 split and then grow with bitter resentment as hundreds of dollars are disseminated into a disaster of your own making.

Beyond all these emotions and potential pitfalls, there’s also a far more practical component to maintaining separate accounts with someone with an overload of debt.

If the creditors ever come calling, your assets could be put in jeopardy, as well. Your otherwise-stellar credit score could be negatively impacted (while your partner’s only increases).

Also, in the worst case scenario, if wages ever need to be garnished, you could be placing yourself in a tenuous situation.

You Make More Money

In a traditional 1950s marriage, the man was the earner and the woman was the stay-at-home caretaker. But, those days are largely tales from the past. Nowadays, most households require each partner to work a full-time job.

In this scenario, there’s likely to be a certain disparity between paychecks. If someone earns significantly more money than the other, it may be wise to examine the case for and against spouses having joint checking accounts.

Greater Autonomy

Certain levels of tension in a marriage may be mitigated if one partner doesn’t have to justify their spending habits. You both came together as fully-fledged adults.

Do you really need to tell the other person how to manage their accounts?

If someone has a financial background, it may actually be wise to set up joint bank accounts; there may be a lot to learn. But, generally speaking, two full-grown adults might appreciate the ability to maintain autonomy over their hard-earned money.

Depending on the age at which you came together, you could be looking at two separate careers and two different financial portfolios. Changing gears into joint checking, savings, and investment accounts could feel quite unnatural and even disadvantageous.

Continued Independence

You give up certain personal freedoms when you partner up with someone. That’s okay; compromise is understood to be the name of the game.

However, maintaining a certain level of personal independence can be rewarding. Your paycheck is your paycheck. Your Amazon propensities are your Amazon propensities. His Home Depot fascination is his Home Depot fascination.

It’s never a good look when one partner takes on the role of resident nag. When conversations start to turn towards, “Why are you such a nag?” or, “Why are you so cheap?” or “You’re so reckless,” it’s a slippery slope.

In a way, this also prevents the potential for dishonesty. Did you know secret spending is a thing? It’s a form of financial infidelity. Even when couples merge their accounts, sometimes there’s one partner who engages in this dubious behavior.

Dedicated Roles

It may be helpful to say one partner’s money is going into one basket and the other partner’s basket is going into another. For example, one partner’s paychecks may go straight into a vacation fund while the other partner pays the grocery bills.

This is a nice way to give each person meaning and purpose in the marriage. The reward here is that each person can still maintain their own individual goals.

Maybe someone would like to take a certification course for work. Maybe someone would like to consider joining a gym class. Sure, these individual goals can be managed from a joint account. But, there’s no harm in maintaining certain personal freedoms.

Increased Engagement

In a way, when you have to not only maintain your own finances, but also invest in a dedicated account with your partner, it creates greater engagement.

Bill splitting and extra planning with a partner requires a little more thought than the systems you had in place in the past. This increased engagement or individual understanding can level the playing field.

There’s another reason to remain mutually engaged: have you ever known an elderly couple who faced real difficulty when one spouse passed away? Perhaps one partner was more heavily involved in the finances than the other.

When the person in charge passes away, it can be difficult for the remaining partner to access accounts and see where all the money went after a lifetime of investing.

In order to avoid a certain level of financial vulnerability, it’s wise to maintain separate accounts while keeping each other informed and engaged.

Better Gift-Giving Opportunities

We’re about to close out on a sour – but necessary – note. So, let’s round things off with a happy one. Separate accounts increase the ability to buy surprise presents, anniversary gifts, and birthday gifts.

No one’s going to see that large charge come through from the local jewelers or that hefty purchase from Auto Zone for a new tailpipe. When these lovely little surprises magically appear in the home, the art of gift-giving truly takes on a new meaning.

Protection Against Financial Abuse

We hate to go here. But, if someone lands in a relationship that ends up being abusive, they’d never want their future to lay in that person’s hands. Money is one of the greatest tools of a manipulator.

In fact, one of the reasons spouses stay in abusive relationships is because they know that, if they go, they’ll have nothing to their name and nowhere to go. It’s wise to always protect yourself from these worst-case scenarios, even in the best-case marriage.

Safety Net In Case of Separation

With separate bank accounts, should the worst thing happen, fewer feathers will be ruffled. To put it more bluntly, separate checking accounts neutralize the enemy in a heated divorce.

One of the most nauseating prospects in the world is the idea of a sour marriage turning so bitter that someone cleans out a joint checking account in the heat of a battle. Can you imagine being left with nothing, even after years of mutual deposits?

How to Maintain Separate Accounts

What does this really look like on paper? How do you divide up shared bills like rent, heating, and electric while maintaining autonomy?

Perhaps you’ll have a joint account that you each contribute to for practical items or more frivolous items like date night or future travel plans.

Set a Budget Together

You don’t need to be closed-lipped about your earnings and personal accounts. After all, if there’s no trust in your relationship, then what are you doing with that person?

So, it’s okay to be honest about what’s coming and going. Use your information to set a budget together. What household expenses will be shared? How evenly can it be split?

Should the rent be split down the middle? Should one person take the Internet bill while the other takes the heating and electric? See what works based on income, the long list of bills, and each person’s capabilities.

Track Your Finances Together

At the end of each month, revisit your budget. Money is fluid. It comes; it goes. If you invest in the market, certain accounts may fluctuate month over month.

Examine your expenses together. See what can be reduced, such as entertainment costs, and what can be increased, such as mutual savings.

The best case scenario is a combination of separate accounts and one joint account with a specific purpose for earmarked expenditures. And remember: this doesn’t have to be an either-or scenario.

Do You Agree That Separate Accounts Are Good for Your Marriage?

Where do you stand now? Are you still intent on a traditional marriage with one joint account? Are you comfortable absorbing one another’s savings and debts?

That’s wonderful. In a perfect world, it seems like a nice way to do it.

But, since we live in an imperfect world, and a lot less harm than good can come out of this scenario, it’s important to understand why separate accounts are good for your marriage. Whichever path you choose, we wish you a lifetime of well-balanced marital bliss!

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